Samosa for the Arranged Souls part VI (continues)
Previously on 'Samosa for the Arranged Souls VI: The Meeting'
The Meeting (continued):
For all the exhaustive preparations you’ll go through, generally the first Blind-Date: Family Edition, i.e. the meeting, is quite unremarkable. You’ll hardly learn anything more about the opposite party unless you happen to be psychoanalyzing their body language, state of nails/shoes/etc.
On rare occasions, some first dates make it to the ‘oh-my-gawd-can-you-believe-my-parents-set-me-up-with-this-guy’ book.
Scenario 1: “Within 20 minutes of meeting, he said he wanted to marry me”, Ayesha, a 24 year old Bengali girl from New Jersey reported of her highly ‘romantic’ interlude with a fellow Bengali guy who later confessed that the only reason he is agreeing to marry her is because his parents need a daughter-in-law who can read Bengali and translate documents for their ancestral property.
Now that’s ‘sticking to your family values’!
Scenario 2: Puja, the 26 year old PhD student was specifically instructed by Ajay (a 28 year old MBA graduate) that, once they are married, she is to never wear skirts in front of his parents. It’s just so obscene - all that leg!
Scenario 3: Zehra was lucky enough to go on the blind date along with her closest friends instead of her parents. Unfortunately the ‘prospective groom’ was more enamored with her physical assets than talking to her- trying vainly to look down her top, head snapping around with every passing female clad in tight jeans etc. His eagerness to reach the marital bed seemed to surpass his need to ‘get to know the woman he is supposed to marry’.
A numerous other examples exist many of which, unfortunately, have been experienced by people bypassing the MAM altogether and going the conventional dating scenario.
So this blog is deciding not to concentrate on the awfulness of blind dates, instead we shall move to highlighting the Post-blind-date conversations with the parents.
(Tune in tomorrow for part VI: The Discussion)
Attack of the lovlies
What a week!
Tuesday I get free TIFF tickets and guess who shows up at the TIFF premier of 'Thumbsucker' at the beautiful Elgin Theatre, looking shy and distant in black suit on stage and is then forced by publicists to make a great show of sitting amidst us - the gushing audience and pretend to watch the abeit wonderful movie?
Sigh. Aww Neo! Unfortunately it seem its all he'll ever be known as . Even in this movie he does a spoof of Neo. Still. Kinda cute. The movie was weird and great. Do check it out.
Saturday: We head down to ROM for a second TIFF (Bengali) movie, 'Memories in the mist', after a good dose of coffee and carbs (gawd 12pm on saturday! what were they thinking?!) . No red carpet in sightthere and with good reason too, as its the second screening. So I'm settling down in the typical omg-i-cant-find-anything-to-wear outifit , and as correctly predicted by Simica and her lucky top, Rahul Bose.- the Johnny Depp of Indian cinema in my book, shows up.
We shook hands, exchange pleasentaries, had coffee and then dinner at Spring Rolls. Okay so the man had to rush out and save a boy with no arms and leg and one ear and therefore could not accept my offer for either- still we shook hands.
She was cool and ofcourse and had something intelligent to say.
She meaning Simica- the true Rahul Bose fan.
Tazzy was the shameless 16 yr old gushing fan.
Check out Simica's post for a review of the movie we watched because I can't remember anything else other than the fact that he smiled at me . Thrice :D
Anyone reading this blog is obliged to check out the movie 'MR AND MRS IYER' (its in English) AT ONCE IF YOU ALREADY HVN'T.
Then this morning was busy spent in very serious work- going through the red carpet pictures of last night's Emmys with all the girlies from work.
I mean really who cares who won but what they wore which brings me to this
I'm in love.
I mean if you look this good in this good of a dress who cares what other talent you have.
And she has that too.
Oh great! Nice to for Mai to know that her president thinks the same as every other man in her country
In case you were wondering...
I'm okay and have not gone off to Vegas for a quickie wedding with Johnny Depp (sigh) as you all supposed :P
Just been busy
- speculating on where all the money I keep earning ends up
- spending weekends kissing upto my parents so they will pay for half of my ticket to Bangladesh (so far hasn't worked) for February
- dreaming up projects for my closet (red curtains hiding neatly-shelved-colour coordinated clothes)
- spying on younger brother
- hobbling to work with missing left big toe nail :P
- wondering why I keep getting badly written proposals of 'friendship' from random weirdos from UK in my inbox (see Sadiya's post for details) and if I can Hex them from here somehow
- checking everyone else's blogs :)
- cursing my so-called-friends who choose not to email me. Ever.
- sighing over the imminent arrival of fall
- stoically avoiding all forms of cooking
- polishing up on a 'Goddess' attitude so that I might just be able to say 'No' to people in the future.
Regular blogging will resume soon.
Because I miss him so :(
Look at my baby's sparkling eyes! He loves the water and he chuckles now too :D
The immigrant dream
Had to link to this amazing post by a struggling child of Korean immigrant parents in Canada.
I'm sure her parents are proud of her in their own way, as are mine, but I understand her frustation of knowing that you could have alway done more and didn't.
"Mayer ekdhar dhudher daam, katiya gayer chaam
Paposh banaileo riner shod hobena"
-Famous Bengali folk song.
To know the true extent sacrifice is to be a parent.
This totally cracked me up. Too true of the Bushist US -courtesy of SLATE magazine
A lot of help is still needed to rebuild the lives and city of the displaced people of New Orleans.
Please contact your nearest agency with donations.
While I was busy scrutinizing every brain under the sun I missed the Blog Day when every Blogger recommended 5 new blogs, preferabley from another country/culture.
So belatedly here are my recommendations for fine blogs:
Qeta: A Bangladeshi-Canadian blogger is back to doing what she does best- being articulate.
Spirit Fingers: Hong Kong blogger with the funniest commentaries on fashion in Hong Kong and around the world. Check out her fashion road kills.
Shirin in Engelestan: Shirin, an Iranian illustrator from UK makes interesting observations about her life there.
Saudi Jeans: A very young bloggers wise views from Saudi Arabia.
But enough about You: Jay, a Malaysian blogger living in England seeking adoration from his fans.
Thanks to Rezwan for his recommendation of my blog.
Happy Blogging everyone.
Samosa for the Arranged Souls VI
Intro and Chapter 1: The Mark
Chapter 2: The Call
Chapter3: The Talk, Chapter 4: The Biodata, Chapter 5:The Picture
and after a very long delay......... now here is
Chapter 6: The Meeting
Having poured over the resumes(sans coverletter), err...biodata that is, as well the sifting through the piles of pictures , you family is now at a point where they can offer you choices....multiple ones too.
As a girl, who would you like to meet?
a)Highly educated young looking Master's student from a well off family who might forever be studying
b)Orphaned engineer who looks like your dad and lives in a different country
c)Home grown,filthy rich, businessman with an inclination towards wearing pants upto his armpits to cover up the potruding belly
d)Brooding Uttam Kumar(famous dreamy Bengali actor) look alike but skinny chain-smoking journalist
As a guy, which girl would you prefer?
a) Tall, big boned, shorhaired lawyer who is pretty but doesn't smile (atleast on camera)
b) Short, high school senior with a gorgeous body and a rich daddy
c) Dark skinned doctor with beautiful big eyes and long black hair
d) Skinny business student with blonde streaks in her hair in a leather jacket
"But what about the person behind the picture?" - you exclaim at your parents. "I don't know what sort of person that is! "
Smirking and winking all the way, your parents tell you -thats exactly why they have set up a meeting with his/her parents.
"The parents? I don't care about them! What about him/her?"- you mutter, but only under your breath because you know very well that no one meets without a chaperone in MAM, atleast not for the first meet.
After multiple excited phone conversations, a meeting place gets chosen. Choices in this case are limited to a mall or a restaurant.
On the appointed day, you can choose dress like you always do thinking that the other person should like you for who you are, but rest assured that your mom will definitely inject a bit of her own fashion sense either through neatly side-parted oiled hair and full sleeved formal shirt(even if its middle of the afternoon) for the guys or ample strokes of pink blush on cheeks and equally ridiculous amount of jewelries (to show off the good status of your own family, you see) for the girls.
Hold on tight, you are now officially on your way for a blind date with butterflies-on-sugar in your stomach.....and your parents are there too! If that wasn't enough, they have decided to bring your older married siblings/uncles/aunties along for the ride, just so they may partake in the judging-of-the-other-party while enjoying your pitiful attempts at conversations with the opposite s_x.
Now in the stone ages this 'meeting' usually happened at the girl's house where 'conversations' were generally along the lines of -
'Hello" as the girl walks in with refreshments for everyone while her mother points our she has cooked it all.
Girl and guy are both studying the floor intently as the guy's relatives ask the girl the very important questions that they are sure the guy is dying to know.
Questions like :
"So what are you studying" (a warm-up question since they already know the answer )
"Beta(girl) can you cook" "How about embroidery?" someone else pipes in.
"Do you read the newspapers?", asked the 60 year old uncle in the group.
"Do you read the religious scriptures everyday? Can you recite for us chapter such and such"50 year old aunty solemnly enquires.
followed by...."I think we have an agreement".
General hugging ensues.
They live happily ever after never having uttered more than "Hello".
You may relieve yourself of the look of horror at this point.
Those were the 'old days'. Thats how the parents got married. Some girls never saw the guys even.
Things are different now.
For one you may sneak a peek at each other.....while everyone is pretending to be best friends.
26 year old Rashida says that she was actually allowed to go for a brief stroll with the guy her parents took her to see while everyone else slowed down behind them.
"So what did you talk about?", I ask.
"He asked me what I studied", she replies.
Rashida rolls her eyes and says, "He also asked about my interests and hobbies" "I told him that I liked to listen to music, cook and knit"
"Err you don't knit Rashida", reminds the surprised me.
"I know! But I couldn't tell him I like to go rollerblading now can I? Mom says its not a suitable womanly interest."
"So, what did you learn about him from that meeting?"
"Nothing. His uncle caught up with us and started asking me questions about my school."
Not everyone is as lucky.
The Meeting ....continues next time. Stay tuned.