Attack of the Smug Marrieds*
*Smug Marrieds:Term coined by Fielding from 'Bridget Jones Diary'; refers to the married women who always begin a conversation with a single friend with the phrase "found someone yet?" or "so when are you going to get married?"
"A woman of a certain age with minimal education must be in want of a husband"- thinks a Smug Married,(a la Jane Austen and her first line from 'Pride and Prejudice').
I hear guys come across this too (never had proof though), but as a women of a certain age and from south-asian background these are some of the views I've come across:
-"How is university? Have you found someone for yourself yet?"
-"You graduated eh? So when are you getting married"
-"I hardly see you since you started work, must be a guy *wink*"
- 1 year into new job "You should hurry up and get married, coz you know after a certain age the glamour is gone"
- 2 year into job "Who will want to marry you when you are that old?"
- Change of job "Obviously your career is not going anywhere, either start grad school or get married"
- Latest "Do you even want to get married?" "Coz I dont want to see you turn into one of those girl who never want to get married!"
So let me get this straight-
If you are a little unsure about your future goals or even if you are sure but havn't gone through all the steps yet; the solution:
Coz 'someoneis out there for you'. Never mind you have not met him, or know anything about him, but guess what? 'he is the solution to all your problems/issues'. Get married and a husband will change everyting. Automatically you will be happy with your life coz he will provide money,house,distractions in the form of kids and your proper place in society.
Never mind that guys you will come across willl be momma's boys/commitmentphobic/fuckedup/from a different culture/chauvinistic/plain boring/or worse engineers, go out and get them and then live the rest of your life with them.
This is your destiny ,the meaning of your life.
Letter to Micheal Moore
Dear Mr. Moore,
As an avid fan of you earlier works (esp. Bowling for Columbine), as a Canadian-Bangladeshi and a former resident of the nation of Kuwait, I cannot begin to explain how eagerly I was awaiting your next timely venture in the form of the movie Fahrenheit 9/11. I watched it a few days ago and was so thouroughly enthralled with the material you presented and the manner of your presentation(shocking,witty,sad) that I didn't even realize it was more than 2 hours long. Which is why I was caught off gaurd with your brief shot of Hajj (Muslims on their pilgrimage to Mecca) in the section about the Saudi family.
I had not expected to see a religious angle to this movie- it was all about how the economic gains of Bush and his cronies as well as the Saudi families are driving the war on Iraq. Right? Surely, I had thought, Mr. Moore did not intend to brand the Muslims performing one of the obligatory once-in-a-life-time act of faith, as a 'terrorists' gathering. I am sure, Mr. Moore is aware that the Muslims (or/and anyone who has a beard and wears a turban- eg Sikhs) are the 'New Blacks' in America- i.e. the second-class citizen status, subjection to racial profiling- but he did not mention 'Jihad' or 'Muslims' in his documentary because he did not want to convolute the agenda of getting Bush out of the White House. Perfectly understandable.
But it hurt. It hurt to see the beautiful image of yearly gathering of millions of Muslims bowing in prayer, amongst talk of the corrupt Saudi Royal family. I grew in the Middle-East for the better part of 9 years of the 26 years of my life; you are indeed preaching to the choir when you talk about the Arabs being corrupted by their oil money and power as a Muslim religious head of the world- but a Pilgrimage to Mecca is above that. It is a personal journey of a Muslim to get closer to God by visiting the site of origin of his/her religion. After saving up all his life, paying off all loans, travelling thousands of miles- it is not politics of Middle East that the average muslim is thinking of on his Hajj in Saudi Arab. So why drag them in?
I must respectfully ask you to, if possible, scratch that 2 second glimse of Hajj from your film. It surely is not adding anything to your message about ending the rule of G. Bush in America. You do not explain the footage of the Hajj, you only show it and instantly you manage to startle Muslims (American or otherwise) and we are back to explaining our religion, for the hundredth time, to every non-Muslim on our way out of the theatre and beyond.
Brooding monday morning
Bangladesh News: Major flood in Dhaka , 200+ people dead and millions left stranded. Again. :(
Floods all over the south east asia....realize is Monsoons, but is it the beginning of a major weather related changes in manner of 'Day after Tomorrow'?
Other news: Thousands join hand to form human chain in protest against Sharon's plan of Gaza pullout: Action taken- Police keeping a watch out.
Possible future scenario- thousands joining hand to form human chain to ask Sharon to not shoot missiles into home in Gaza: Probable action- the Army sent in in tanks and fighter jets to shoot and kill 'those damn terrorists and Hamaz activists'. Disgusting double standards.
Homefront: Family not dealing well with the move-out. Mother- trying the guilt trip. Everyone else- pretending I never uttered those words. Must prove inheritence of traits from father's side of the family+ mother's life long observations and be selfish enough to sign the cursed contract by this week.
Sunny days ahead.
Donna, march on babes! Congrats on getting into Harvard for your post-Doc and making them pay for it too!
Appi, can you believe it? Best wishes on your one year anniversary! Gawd time passes to fast, seems like only yesterday we were stealing flowers for the Holud in the middle of the night......arguing with the banquet hall people on the absolute necessity of two indoor fireworks at the wedding :D
Just found out that the supervisor at my new workplace is apparently some big-shot world renowned neuroscience researcher.....umm I guess its too late to take back all the light hearted banters about the futility of functional imaging from the interview.
One step closer
How else can I describe the weekend but successful?
As of 6:30pm yesterday, at Paramount Canada's Wonderland, I have moved one step closer to my long term hopefully-not-fatal-wish of bungee-jumping off a bridge over a scenic river somewhere in the world. I went on the 230feet (23 stories) Drop Zone ride as a warm-up and then ultimate weighlessness on the Xtreme Skyflyer that power strubng us - Irma(unabashed 20 year old), Shehzeen(hyperactive 15 year old) and me, going down 170feet at a speed of 100K/hr.
Petrified doesn't even begin to describe my feeling on the first 2 seconds of drop.
2 more seconds and ......I began to like being alive.
A few more seconds and with our feet on the platform and I was ready to burst out of my skin with pure joy for having gone through with it.
Yep.. definitley 25% less scared of falling of heights. Might do it again, just so I can buy the video where I look a little less horrified.
A mother's love?
Actual phrases hurled at me by my mother-
"You read too much": age 9-26 years
"Its not good to be more close to your friends than your family": age 15-26 years
"How did you become so fat?": morning, followed by "How do you stay all day without eating rice?": same day evening
"Why are you friends with him? he doesn't seem like he believes in God": age 21 years
"There is this skin lightening cream a lady at my work used..": January of this year, after I came back tanned grey from NZ; there was also an embarrassing reference to 'Fair and Lovely cream' at some point in the months that followed
"Most freedom fighters of the '71 war were involved in *snicker* politics, your dad and uncle were studying then": this morning.
She wants to thwart everything I like/believe in/care for/am passionate about. She also thinks she is protecting me by doing this......again and again and again.
But then thats what mothers are for I guess.
Back from living inside my head for the last week or so.
I get like that sometimes, when there is too much on my mind.
Since I'm still on chocolate/icecream binge, I'm not through yet. Regardless, there have been some updates- looks like I won't be unemployed in the fall, there is some definite improvement in the financial side as well as the possibility of relocation.
There was also last night at Mishty's ...........gawd I hvn't giggled like that in years. Felt like we were back to being 19 - sighing over movies, enjoying non-healthy dinner, ranting against parents, impulsiv late night outings ,pajama pictures, peppered with giggles galore; only this time, of the foursome- one of us is out of school for two years(me), one is finishing off a graduate degree(sim), one is married and on her own(mish)and one is missing presumed transformed into ideal bengali wife with no time for friends(appi)!
I wonder where we will be in five years time.
All that Jazz
People people......I am in Love.
I admit I never though much of it before, a little Chicago, a little Diane Krall and that was it. But after going to two nights of the International Jazz Festival on the streets of Montreal- all I can think of is Jazz.
I stopped on my tracks to the neo-bop and modal jazz of Joshua Rager of Montreal, then was wowed with silky voice of Chantal Chamberland whose repeat performance of 'Summer' and 'Time after Time' I had to come back to at 10pm. But the next night's reggae-dub inspired performance of Bedouin Soundclash just beat it all :) now I am hooked. Must find out everything about them and all the other performers :) The whole festival was so amazing- thousands and thounsands of people-young,old,able,disable even little kids all swaying to the music till the wee hours of the night. There were a number of excellent street performances as well -step dance,fire jugglers.
Other than the festival I thought Montreal is overhyped when clearly Quebec city is sooo much more beautiful. Montreal is the Reagent Park of Toronto, where Quebec City is Oxford(England)with beeautiful buildings, the winding cobblestone roads, the street painters, the monuments.
Ofcourse we got lost- on our way to Montreal and then on the to Quebec city from Montreal - all on major highways :P but on the whole the trip was quite fun.