Have you noticed how fearful we (people in North America) have become of our food in the past few years?
Sexy carbs, innocent looking trans-fats, and cute little fat molecules have been taking the fast train down our esophagus for centuries and suddenly now all they hear are shrieks of -
"Run away" "Run away"!
The bunny rabbit has turned into "the most foul,cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on". (shameless plug of my current obsession with Monty Python)
Don't believe me?
Fine. Think back to what you had yesterday.
White bread? - forget it... its bleached
Margarine?- yeah they did say hydrogentated stuff was better for you 20 years ago...but now transfats are the new 'weapons of mass destruction'. Time for you to go back to cholesterol rich butter again, unless ofcourse you worry about things like clogged arteries in which case you are doomed anyway.
Pasta?- oh far too carby and calorie rich...and don't even utter the word 'rice'
Tempura veggies?- oh too much oil. you are better off having locusts....atleast they have proteins!
Proteins are everyone's new mistress now. People are cuddling up to proteins like soldiers on a weekend's leave at home from Iraq.
Sure I love a grilled/baked/curried chicken like any poultry-worshipper, but what is up with this fear of having the same chicken shamelessly slathered in batter, deep fried and served with some spicy fried rice. (oh is that your stomach I hear growling like an encaged lion surrounded by pesky kids throwing peanuts at it? no? must be mine then.)
But if the thought of chicken everyday grosses you out- you are weird and you should go shag, i mean eat some fish....but know that you'll be dealing with the unearthly beauties called PCB, mercury, bullshitium etc.
Fresh fruits and vegetables?- Not unless they were washed in 'The Vegetable Washing Fluid' of your choice to remove all the wax and pesticide residues, 'cause you know water is just not enough!
I'm telling you, there is no escape.
And I'm not even going to start on the crazy-beef-syndrome, soon to be in a chicken near you.
So where does it all leave us?
Should we chew on some fungi while we sell our pesticide-laden blood and toxic organs to buy some organic grains and free-range chicken?
Do you think we were better off not knowing about the artificial plutonium flavour bits in our cheese rings?
Where do we draw the f-ing line?
I don't know about you, but already I've caught myself checking the fat content of Turtles (pecan-caramel chocolate) ......and get this- I don't even like Turtles.
Okay, while you all think of the answers to these very important questions of this decade, I'll go put some spicy curly fries in the oven :)
I wonder what Ketchup is made of- European or African swallows? (there I go with the MP references again...someone stop me)
See what I mean?