Sunshine Too Brief


All Contents copyright of
Tazzy at

I'm a self-absorbed Bengali-Torontonian;
Fish comes to me raw, wrappend in seaweed, not cooked in curry;
I love watching thunderstorms and rain;
Sad endings make more sense to me than happy ones;
I hate empty walls.

In the News

Craving of the week-
Dark Chocolate
Reading List-
Midnight's Children
Movie review(out of 5)-
127 hours- *****
Buried- ****
That Girl in Yellow Boots- **
Love of the week-
Seeing James Franco
Aim for the weekend-
Watch 'Going Postal' The Movie

My Novella: Samosa for the Arranged Souls

Introduction & Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapters 3, 4 & 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 6 continues

Chapter 7 & Epilogue

  • May 2004
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    I'd like to think I'm only a mildly paranoid person.
    i.e. I never fail to say 'inshallah'(God willing), outloud or in my head, when making plans; even though I'm not ...errr... religious.
    I also try to think pessimistic thoughts when a movie/book I've been anticipating gets released because I'm afraid I'll jinx it somehow by hoping too much.
    I always take my phone out while walking alone anywhere in, the relatively safe city of Toronto after 10pm anticipating a s_xual predator lurking around the corner, just in case.
    You know.... the usual.
    But lately with all thats going on around the world, I've realized that I might be a tad more paranoid than I thought.

    or Am I?

    Is it paranoia to think that Toronto would be the next place where a terrorist bomb will go off?
    I mean, the logical people in the world DO know us as peacekeepers and non-supporters of war esp. the Iraq war, but the terrorist have not proven themselves to be very logical have they? Combine that with the obvious presence of Canadian soldiers in Afghanistan, no matter how peaceful the agenda is, has put us on the 'List' of that bearded-presumably-walking-undead lurker of caves.
    There is a rapidly growing Muslim population in Canada which is great until you realize atleast one person you know has come in with a bogus refugee claim. As innocent as that reason might as just wanting a better life for your children, can we, in all confidence, not think that some might have a not-so-innocent agenda for being here?
    Then we have the 'Islamic-schools' here most of which teach nothing of the multi-faith-multicultural-rapidly developing world that the kids are growing up in, but only the importance of correctly pronouncing an Arabic letter. Brainwashing anyone?
    So, external or home-grown , the logical conclusion is that we'll be hit by terrorists.
    At some point in the future.
    That doesn't scare me as much as thinking of the after effects of such an act.
    No doubt, like NY, Bali, Spain, London and Dhaka, Toronto too will survive and move on.
    But how much do you think the dynamics of Toronto will change because of such an action?

    We claim we are multicultural and show much less prejudice than our neighbours down south.
    But are Torontonians tolerant enough?
    Think back to the SARS scare of chinatowns across this city.
    Heck, even my mother stopped buying fish from the Chinese stores in mississauga when her own daughter was working in a hospital that was treating SARS patients!
    Where was logic and tolerance then?
    But back to the future.
    I would hope that neighbours will not resort to punching out a 'Muslim-looking-man' in the back alleys following a terrorist attack.
    Some anti-Islamic graffiti, for sure.
    Possibly a lot of dirty looks flung to anyone 'Brown' looking accompanied by the 'most widely used word since 2001' - "Terrorist" at even the most nonMuslim looking women showing legs upto the armpits.
    At which point, you'll need to repeat to yourself "Words will never hurt me" "Words will never hurt me". .....and thats probably true.
    But at the end of if all, will I be able to continue loving this city? calling it mine?
    After 9 years, I've already gotten used to explaining the religion at every corner and I've even stopped getting mad at the obligatory "No, where are you really from?" question from peers/random strangers, but can I survive being made to feel like I don't belong in this city? this country? that I'm not a worthy citizen? that I should ''Go back to wherever the hell I came from"?
    Even as I sing "I will survive", my heart will probably be chipped forever.


    At 7:26 p.m., October 07, 2005, Blogger Shirin said...

    I didn’t really get that first bit. What exactly are you planning to do with your phone in case you are attacked by a s-xual predator? Scare him off by playing him the Crazy Frog ringtone? Try to make friends with him by showing him some amusing clips you downloaded off the internet? Distract him with your new wallpaper so you can give him a good kick in the b-lls? What?

    At 2:41 a.m., October 08, 2005, Blogger Pallavi said...

    hahahah I think you are using reverse psychology..

    and it used to work for me too.. but then i realised that if I wished it very hard it would come true..

    so the best rule is not to expect at all.. and wait for the best...

    At 4:23 p.m., October 08, 2005, Blogger Tazzy said...

    Shirin: not sure....thought the 'yellow bast_ard's balls ripped off' clip from 'Sin City' is sure cause somoe what clip you have on your cellphone that might possibly be amusing to a s_xual predator! :)

    Pallavi: not sure if i'm ready for the 'not thinking and just waiting' bit yet :(

    At 11:11 a.m., October 10, 2005, Blogger Shabina said...

    "Then we have the 'Islamic-schools' here most of which teach nothing of the multi-faith-multicultural-rapidly developing world that the kids are growing up in, but only the importance of correctly pronouncing an Arabic letter. Brainwashing anyone?"

    I gotta tell ya, that's kind of a leap in judgment. I agree with you about the lack of 'real-world' preparation that children receive at Sunday School, it's like that here in the States, too.

    But I just started teaching there, and it seems that Sunday School is just like I remembered it - an excuse to gather with hundreds of kids who are in the same proverbial boat as you and start you on your way to building an American Muslim identity. Hardly brainwashing, in my opinion.

    It's the kids who DON'T associate with others like them and who estrange themselves from the community who often become disillusioned and unable to deal with the dichotomy between their Islamic identity and their American (or Canadian) one. Isolation breeds contempt...or something like that. Just my two cents. :)

    At 11:56 a.m., October 10, 2005, Blogger Shirin said...

    What clip I have on my mobile? Having a laugh? My phone is seven years old this year, it even refuses to text sometimes let alone show video clips. However since it is properly big and heavy, I can simply whack the ba-tard on the head with it and get it over and done with. Yes I have a huge mobile and I’m not afraid to use it :-)

    At 4:52 p.m., October 12, 2005, Blogger Tazzy said...

    Shabina: Thanks for visiting!

    As for 'Islamic schools' I was referring to the 'madrasa' style full time Islamic schools that are cropping up in Ontario not Sunday school style once a week teaching of the Quran.
    In my opinion the madrasas have no place in our rapidly evolving Muslim world, Easter or Western.

    At 7:20 a.m., November 28, 2005, Blogger Netpowersoft said...

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.


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