One would think I'd get used to it, but it still surprises me how easily people judge others.
It might be human nature somewhat to pass judgement, but to hear those thoughts voiced out loud, I find, is particularly upsetting.
In my books, when they are strangers whom you've not interacted with, who have done you no wrong but just happen to look a certain way or live life in a way you don't like- it is NOT okay for you to belittle their lives in such harsh manners.
How can you continuously bemoan the curse of attracting big women when you yourself are sporting a beer gut? and you are only 27 years old? AND you are balding! But that is exactly what this one person was doing and he thought he was being funny and friendly. Wonder how he would have reacted if I had pointed those things out loud to him? Ofcourse I didn't. I tend not to say anything upsetting unless someone does/says something that involves me personally. Even though I was getting more and more self concious as the other girl with us was a very petite and thin person.

Anyway, this is just one person, I'm sure we all know many like him. I find people are more than eager to bitch about strangers than they should.
We must think we are behind a glass window while passing judgement on others. I'd say we're usually behind a mirror window and those judgments reflect back something about us. So news flash- you might feel better when you are putting others down, but people around you only see you and you are definitely not looking good to them.

I'm not sure why it bothers me so hearing anyone make harsh comments about people I haven't met- especially when the judgemental person is not a friend and nor do I care to consider him or people like him friends. They are just people I've met in life and as soon as they are out of my sight- I'd forget their existence. Still the manner of their judgement lingers on...ruining my week.
I thought it'd be easier to let things go, once you grow older, maybe just not everything.




It's happened.
A snowstorm, weeks of continuous rain, many months of cloudy skies, unproductive work, blotched school plans, a horrid breakup and cliquey vancouverites- have finally worn me down. I don't regret the move out here. But I am, for my own sanity, returning to my beloved Toronto.
Not that anything has improved in terms of school or work or relationships- but I'm exhausted from thinking now.

So what am I doing once I'm back?
Well, first I'd be chucking the fugly sketchers and donning on my high heels and skirts. Followed by a fill up of my adorable nephew, who is speaking in sentences now. I'm also supposed to meet my old boss and mentor for a chat, maybe get some directions or not.

Then early May, I'm going soul searching.
I've thought about this for a while, in terms of all the thresholds in my life that I have been over and one that I have been hesitant in crossing.

The only cure for my existentialist dilemma seems to be a trip back to my past.
A long overdue, month long visit to the motherland- Bangladesh to see my grandmother.

Well, hopefully I'll find a cool spot like that to sit by uninterrupted, with some
Sunil and Bonkim(Bengali authors)...maybe a bootlegger copy of Harry Potter 7....at hand.



It's high summer time then with temperatures of 25+ degrees C and infrequent electricity to go around Dhaka. BUT...guess what I get?


No no the bearded guy!
Tropical fruits! Mangoes, Jackfruit, and some other yummy ones that I only know the Bengali name for. And don't even get me started on the street food..I'll start drooling.

Plus it would be great spending some time with the wonderful extended family whom I haven't seen in over a decade. This time I think I can handle the inevitable 'why aren't you married?' questions. At 29, I'd officially be a Bengali spinster; a dark and fat one at that! Well atleast that is what I'd be pointing out to potential matchmakers.

On the trip back, I'm stopping over at another threshold.

Can you guess from this pic?


How about now?


Getting close...



I'll be in Kuwait for 5 days, on the way back from Bangladesh.
A lot of memories to rekindle.....most of my teenage years were spent there with one of my closest friends from high school, who incidentally is married and living in Kuwait now. As expected, we are super excited about seeing each other after 11 years and comparing how much we would have both changed....for the better ofcourse.

I'd be the size of a house from all the yummy food in both places, but hey Amen to that eh?!

I hope to be back in Toronto in June:
- unemployed(bad),
- out of school(bad),
- living in my parents basement(bad),
- with my cat(good),
- with my car(good) and
- near friends(good)!

Wish me luck!




I finally bought the camera I have been eyeing for two years now.-
The Canaon PowershotSD600 6.0 MP

A 'slight' improvement over my Nikon CoolPix800 1.2 MP don't you think? Don't bother looking it up- I'm sure its in the Nikon museum. It was a good camera for the time it was bought about 5 years ago. It felt bulky like a real camera- meaning I never dropped it or sat on it accidentally. It came with the added possibility of attaching a telephoto lens one day should I feel like it. You could still enlarge the pictures to a 8x10 on print and get a good enough resolution.

Ofcourse over the years I grew out of my fear of the toy like quality of the new light weight digital cameras and really really wanted one that fit in my purse.
But there was always something getting in the way of me updating the camera- a trip, a move, then new laptop, which I made sure fits into my over sized bag.

Finally this weekend, I trekked over to Future Shop and proceeded to subject myself to the usual masochistic patronization. Ever notice how the Future shop guys always speak to female customers like they are complete idiots about technology? The guy I got this time answered my query about taking pictures in low light situations, by going on and on on about how if you are a bad photographer the camera is useless and that cameras can't think for you etc, when I finally had enough. My response, smiling all the way-
"Do you always sell cameras by calling the your customers bad photographers, or is only because I happen to be woman?"
Ofcourse a bit of patronizing apologies followed...up until I bought the camera.

Can I say its the sexiest thing I've come across?
The camera that is, not the FutureShop guy -nice eyes though!

Ofcourse, I immediately went off to take some pictures of the scattered cherry blossoms trees in my neighbourhood.


Yes its low light- a usual cloudy morning in Vancouver. Maybe a guy would spend hours playing with the options right there, but I didn't want to freeze my toes off.
But never underestimate the power of Photoshop - you can always edit it to look like the real thing.

TA-DA


I'm not a photographer but they R pretty eh?
Surprisingly not as fragrant as I had hoped -but flowers in north america generally are not.
Probably driven by natural selection based on the high concentration of allergy sufferers.
LET YOU CHILDREN EAT SOME DIRT, people. Stop wiping everything with anti-bacterial spray!!

Sorry didn't mean to go off on a tanget, but its sad that so many Vancouverites are allergic to the flowers with all the fresh sea air around!
No stopping to smell the roses for these suckers.