Saturday
Yes you should be scared to turn 30...
Proofs that the age 30 turns a woman into a vain, obsessive and senile creature she barely recognizes-
- She is convinced that her hair and skin are losing lustre and every day brings in a new wrinkle around her eye.
- She purchases expensive eye cream, to counteract the said wrinkles, only to learn half a bottle later that eye creams are completely unnecessary and in fact can cause dark circles to form under the eye from the skin not getting enough oxygen.
- When she stumbles onto a new witty blog written by a young woman, she most often nods away in agreement over all the bits about finding a career, love and maintaining sanity in a relationship. Down a few posts into the archives, she runs into the part where the blogger, rightfully, complains about the curse of being 25 & then promptly lose interest in the new blog.
- While waiting around in rush hour traffic and checking the mirror for makeup status, she finds a gray hair and groans. Against all the wisdom she plucks it, flicks it out the window and steps on the gas, only to have the same hair fly back inside the car and wrap around her wrist. Then proceeds to have a mini panic attack sitting in the car.
- She worries about her eggs constantly, visualizes them wrinkled and filled with mutated genes, thus lowering her chances of ever having a normal kid should she ever find a guy to have a kid with.
- Immediately following this thought she berates herself because the said fascination with parenthood might force her to 'settle down' some day with some random balding, pot bellied, gentle, uninteresting, stable guy with a proper job- just because he'd make a great dad to her future kids. That is NOT an option.
- While wasting time with another online quiz, she runs into the question about "what she would take to a deserted island" and is surprised to find that Studio Finish Mac Foundation Compact isn't one of the options.
- Being asked out by young-er guys stops being a compliment to her youthful looks and turns into a source of annoyance.
- She becomes quite positive that, she has heard her girlfriends say "You look pretty today" at least 30 times less since she turned 30. She is near whining to them about it and halts just in time to remember that she has great friends and a lot of them have crossed 30 already. It will just be horribly mean on her part to remind them.
- Instead of wishing she was younger, she begins to wish for good sense to return or failing that, a quick death just so she can leave behind a young looking corpse that might inspire others to say,"Oh, how young she was and with so much potential" at her funeral.
Yep.
Senile.
That's a 30 year old woman when her entire life has turned upside down.
8 Comments:
Love it, Tas! :-)
Though gray hairs work for men, apparently, they make me feel old. :-(
"Being asked out by young-er guys stops being a compliment to her youthful looks and turns into a source of annoyance" -
you did NOT just say that!!! :)
And here I am hoping, prayin' and wishin' for a certain young'un to notice me ! :D
Chris: Thanks! yeah gray hair to women is balding to men :P
Sim: Oh puleez that 'certain young'un' has definitely noticed you, plus he isn''t THAT much younger!
I was speaking of 23 yr olds, who are very annoying :P
Isn't it a compliment to be asked out by 23 year olds?
Hey,
I have been following your blog for sometime now and i think you are brilliant! And you just nailed me to your blog by this one! Have your blog bookmarked :) keep on providing us with good stuff to read.
cheers!
Qeta: thats the thing- it used to be :( I just feel old now when they do.
Shehneela: awww Thank you!! thats soo sweet of you..don't know about brilliant but I'm probably the most sporadic blogger I know! :P
Thanks for visiting...I promise to update more often.
Happy Birthday?
just visiting from another blog...
Hahaha ... wait until you get to 31 ;) ...
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