A Sunshine Too Brief

Monday

Defining 'open mind'

Its Sunday night and my mother and I are watching some random show on WTN(Women's Television Network)-

Mom: "Do you know Ellen (pronounced Allen)?"
Me: Err... "yeah"
Mom: "You know? She is very funny and talks really nice, has a show on TV."
Me: "Yes mom, I know who Ellen is. She is a comedian."
Mom: "Do you know she's gay?"

*pin drops and Tazzy realizes her mother actually knows what homosexuality is! Sure she's not on the ball with the lingo but wow she's actually mentioned the word. Am so proud. *

Me: "Yeah. She just got married to a woman recently"
Mom: "Yes. I know. I used to really like her and her show. She was so happy and outgoing and talked so well. Then I saw her wedding pictures on a magazine. Why would she do that? She used to be such a nice person"

*Tazzy realizes pin is actually to burst bubbles*
*Mom is looking confused, but thankfully not upset or disgusted*

Me: "Mom, just because she is gay doesn't mean she isn't a nice person or can't run a great show."
Mom: "No, she isn't normal. That isn't normal. Why would she want to be that? I use to like watching her show!! "

*Now at that point, Tazzy could tell her that being gay isn't what someone chooses, its what someone is, but I didn't want to preach or argue. But rather have her reason it out on her own time. A couple of young guys are going to 'come out' soon enough in our community, she needs to be prepared, and not with sticks and stones*

Me: "You can still like her show and her, Mom. Even if she's gay. She is still the same person."

*Mom gives a dubious look and goes back to her stitching*

---------------------------
Wow, not bad.
I had heard of homosexuality 14 years ago living in the Middle East and I took three years after that to accept that its perfectly 'normal'.
I'd say mom is making progress.

PS: Don't be hating my mom now. Her reaction is probably generic of most South-Asian parents. Not just parents, in some cases.

5 Comments:

At 8:49 a.m., September 09, 2008, Zeenat said...: I am waiting to have that exact conversation with my mom! She also loves Ellen and watches her show religiously! I can't decide whether I should tell her myself or wait for her to ask me the question!
At 11:35 a.m., September 09, 2008, Anonymous said...: No worries, Tas. Eastern European parents are exactly the same. My dad's position on the subject has always been: "I know it exists, but I don't want to hear anything about it." :)
Hena
At 5:06 p.m., September 09, 2008, Tazzy said...: Zee: Really? you mom too? How cute!
Hena: Yeah, I guess our parent's generation is the same no matter what ethnicity or religion.
At 1:06 p.m., September 15, 2008, Sophie said...: this might be a great way to deal with her when she says "when are you going to meet a nice boy?" Mom, I might be gay.... That way when you do bring home a boy, no matter who he is, they will be ecstatic... ;-)
At 10:24 a.m., September 17, 2008, Tazzy said...: hahhahha Soph!
you crack me up :) I'll rem that next time the brings it up, but I do fear she might kill herself even if it IS a joke :P
you had to see her face when my brother walked in with a fake piercing.