Sunshine Too Brief

NYE_2008Portrait

All Contents copyright of
Tazzy at
tashuq78@gmail.com


I'm a self-absorbed Bengali-Torontonian;
Fish comes to me raw, wrappend in seaweed, not cooked in curry;
I love watching thunderstorms and rain;
Sad endings make more sense to me than happy ones;
I hate empty walls.

In the News

Craving of the week-
Dark Chocolate
Reading List-
Midnight's Children
Movie review(out of 5)-
127 hours- *****
Buried- ****
That Girl in Yellow Boots- **
Love of the week-
Seeing James Franco
Aim for the weekend-
Watch 'Going Postal' The Movie

My Novella: Samosa for the Arranged Souls

Introduction & Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapters 3, 4 & 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 6 continues

Chapter 7 & Epilogue


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    Monday

    Things I wish I knew at 21


    As of today, I'm exactly 31 years and 1 month old.
    You'd think I'd be 'essentially freaking out' by now.
    You would be right.
    A decade ago I'm not sure, if even I, had planned to be 31, single and still without a 'goal in life' to speak of. But here I am, exactly that but somehow not 'freaking out'. Is that an appropriate response?
    Its not that I'm calm or content. Definitely not that. I am more 'accepting of difficult situations and people as natural process of life' and less 'God hates me and thats why he's putting me through this.' Its not maturity as such. I am just less naive and a little more gutsy now than when I was at 21 and opefully a little more capable of handling chaos. Is that how most women feel in their 30s? or are they supposed to wish they were 20, which I definitely don't?

    Sure, I look back to my 20s with fondness and little nostalgia. At the same time, I just wish when I was, say 21, someone had told me these 7 things to save myself some precious time and wasted energy.

    1. You are at least ten times prettier and thinner than you think you are.
    I say this , not to sing my own praise but, out of a very objective analysis of these pics of me with my friends. Even with unfortunate fashion sense, we look beautiful and radiant with a glow that only a 21 can have without makeup or done up hair. I vividly recall how obsessed I was about my weight and thinking it to be the ONLY reason guys were not falling over themselves to ask me out. Clearly it was not so. I wasn't skinny but you know I wasn't as fat as I thought I was either!

    2. If you don't have it all yet, pretend like you do.
    I'm talking about faking confidence. All those jobs that I didn't apply for or dates I didn't go on because I thought I wasn't knowledgeable enough or interesting enough, all I had to do is pretend that I was and not be nervous or afraid. Believe that I am capable. A few times of pretending and you know what? It disappears!

    3. Take care of your skin and hair every single day.
    "Make sure you remove the day's makeup every night, get facials and use oil treatments for hair at least once a month",my mother used to say. She might have been wrong about the benefits of toner (none) but she was right about the rest!

    4. Wish you could learn to dance or ride a bike? Start now! Its NEVER too late.
    This one holds true for all ages. At 21, you are quite self-conscious and worried that your friends will think you are lame. So you pass out on so many opportunities to learn things outside your school curriculum, some of it even offered for free! I have lost count on the number of times I hesitated in front of postings on dance classes by the athletic centre or camera club meetings at the Hart House. I should have just gone in!

    5. Pay attention to your body. If you feel ill and you know you don't have a physical reason to be, you are probably in a situation that you shouldn't be.
    We underestimate the importance of emotional health in this society. You might be able to ignore what your mind and/or your friends and family are saying about a bad situation for a while. But if its making you unhappy for a long time, eventually your body will start to show it and you will not be able to ignore it.

    6. Feeling impatient and not being very nice to people ? You just need a snack.
    This one is just like #5 only on a smaller scale. It could be just me but I'm beginning to think its a woman thing. Irritability not because of PMS but low blood sugar. It doesn't have to be a meal, just some sugar for your brain cells cause they are tired. Now I keep a cereal bar or gum with me at all times.

    7. Your parents were wrong. Friends ARE as important as family.
    Like many other opinions of theirs about career goals (What can you do with a Biology degree!) this one was very wrong as well. Great friendships are something to treasure and who says you can't be friends with your family as well?!

    Notable mentions
    - Being all girly/woman is not as sign of weakness.
    - You can't be good at everything
    - Dating is not for finding 'The One' but to find out 'if you are The One for someone'

    Pearls of wisdom ? Hardly.
    But you know, it would have helped!

    4 Comments:

    At 10:51 AM, May 26, 2009, Blogger Sim said...

    Great list - i'm still working on the first three though but I have a feeling I'll catch up! :)

    love ya!

     
    At 9:49 AM, May 27, 2009, Blogger Tazzy said...

    Thanks hon :)
    oh I'm working through a few of those myself

     
    At 6:03 PM, May 29, 2009, OpenID dicampbell said...

    If I had a list like this before I turned 31 last year, I probably wouldn't have freaked out about it as much as I did. Good stuff!

     
    At 11:45 AM, August 17, 2009, Anonymous Special K said...

    I just found this post and LOVE LOVE LOVE it...what a woman you are!
    Hey, enter my Share YOurself challenge this week!

     

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